Wanna start planning your week in entertainment right now? Then continue reading to find out what’s coming up this week on The Week Ahead!
Read more after the jump.
- Jackass 3-D: I haven’t been the biggest fan of the new 3-D movie revolution, but that doesn’t mean there are not ways that it can still be used effectively. Piranhas 3-D is a prime example of a movie that managed to make good use of the technology (Besides the 3-D floating phallus). The problem with 3-D isn’t just the fact that it’s being thrown into titles to boost ticket sales, but also the fact that the majority of the 3-D in these movies consist of mainly gimmicks and sight gags that personally make me want to gag. Rants aside, Jackass 3-D looks just like it will still be the same old Jackass, and 3-D or no, that alone is worth my money.
- Red: It’s going to be real hard deciding between this and Jackass. Even though I still have fear that Bruce Willis’ tough-guy voice with drive me insane the entire movie, the thought of seeing Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, and Helen Mirren all getting into potentially bad-ass situations makes me giddy. The only thing that would make me more excited about this movie would be if it was rated R, and if it included a scene in which Mirren gets into a knife duel with Dame Judy Dench.
- Conviction: Now this is something I did not hear about for a while, but with a cast and thuper therious plot like this, it should probably generate some critical buzz soon enough. The plot involves Hilary Swank (Who is hot, argument done) going to law school in order to help her borther Sam Rockwell, who is wrongfully convicted for murder. Even though I do enjoy serious flicks from time to time, I’m simply not rushing to see Conviction the same weekend that testosterone-fest Jackass 3-D and testosterone/Cialis-fest RED are being released. Talk to me when it’s officially labeled Oscar contender.
- Medal of Honor (Xbox 360, PS3, PC): In a shocking move, the Medal of Honor franchise will finally make it’s way out of Nazi occupied France and start kicking some Taliban ass. Now, how am I supposed to get excited over yet another war franchise making the move that Call of Duty cashed in on years ago? That’s right reader, I’m not. In short, I will be getting Black Ops, and my brother can handle the carbon copies.
- Lucha Libre: Heroes of the Ring (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii): One of the other big games arriving this week is Konami’s new Latino-style wrastlin’ game. I had not heard of it until just a few weeks ago, and I will not be playing it unless there is a cock-fighting mini-game and Jack Black’s Nacho Libre included as a playable character. NACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
- Disney Sing-It: Party Hits (Wii, PS3): Sorry, I’m legally obliged to include games that your pussy children would enjoy. That and Zac Effron’s locks are to die for.
Games of the Week:
- Vikings v. Jets (ESPN, Tonight): Although my Kansas City Chiefs currently have the title of “Best MNF Game” of the year, that all may change tonight. Randy Moss returns to the Purple People Beaters, Brett Fav-rah is in hot water for allegedly “wife-bexting” (That’s wife-beat-texting for all you squares out there. You can bet your ass that’ll catch on.) a former Jets employee, and we get to see Rex Ryan devour players in anger and Brad Childrapist rape children. Super!
- Rangers v. Rays (TBS, Tuesday): Being a Royals fan, I’ve been turned off of baseball for essentially 10 years, but I guess I’ll pull for former Mizzou man and Rangers’ second baseman Ian Kinsler. Wooooo…zzzz.
- #1 Ohio State v. #18 Wisconsin (ESPN): Yeah, now’s about the time where the number one team in the country changes every week, and chances are good that Wisconsin will have a good shot at doing just that to Ohio State. I want to root against the fancy nuts, but I simply can’t; Jim Tressel is too damn fly in those sweater vests.
That’s a bit of the week ahead! If you have any other things to watch/play/drool about this week, leave a comment! Go on, I dare you…. please? Ah fine.