[Happy 100th post!]
I’m not sure if I could handle being famous, or at least famous enough to be put on TMZ if I got caught eating a whole pizza and a can of spray cheese on a subway. Just thinking about having to deal with the constant interviews, singing of autographs, and dealing with the inevitable craziness that affects most A-List celebrities makes me feel queasy. It’s obvious that the majority of super celebrities in the world are batshit insane, but there are quite a few people in movies, TV, sports, et cetera, that are (Or seem to be) genuinely interesting, but also, you know, not quite as batshit insane.
Sure, some of these seemingly normal famous people could just be really good at hiding their inner-crazy, and they might even be hiding some creepy-ass fetishes (Perhaps a cellar full of Beanie Babies?) from the paparazzi, but I’m willing to take a chance on some of these people. So yes, there’s a possibility that some of these people might secretly be douchebags like Christian Bale that would cuss me out for bringing them a glazed donut instead of a danish, but I’m just shameless to admit that I’d try to spend a day with them anyway. Click the jump to see five people that I would love to hang out with.
5. Scott Sigler: For the 500th time, people: Scott Sigler is currently my favorite author. The guy only has a handful of books to be found at the local Borders, and then only has two or three more novels available in print on his website, but the dude pretty much started the podcast novel craze. Outside of that, Sigler likes football, old movies, and being a snarky bastard. Hey, that sounds like me!
4. Jackie Chan: I’ve recently developed a strange interest in Jackie Chan’s old movies. Considering that the guy started appearing in films before he was ten, and also got his start in kung-fu movies as a stuntman for Bruce Lee, I bet Mr. Chan could spend days upon days telling stories from the “biz.” He also is reportedly one of the nicest dudes around Hollywood, period. The only thing I’d love more than finding a God damn copy of Police Story would be to spend a day swapping manly stories with a guy whose birth name (Chan Kong-sang) means “Born in Hong Kong.” “Oh, you almost burned your hands off during one of your stunts? Yeah, this one time I almost got killed by a pack of ferrets. It was intense.”
3. Clint Eastwood: I can only imagine that spending a day with Clint Eastwood would be like spending a day with my grandpa, only his stories would be more about filming westerns and with a gravelly voice. Honestly, a day spent with Eastwood would probably boil down to me asking him to spill dirt on all of his co-actors and actresses while intermittently having him repeat all of his quotes from the Dirty Harry films. Some time during that point he’d probably throw me out of his car. [I bet he drives a Gran Torino. HAHAHA, get it?!?!]
2. Donald Faison: I’m a really big fan of shows like Arrested Development and The Walking Dead, but if there are two show that get bonus points for serious longevity, I can only say Seinfeld and Scrubs. I waffled between Zack Braff and Faison, but in the end chose the black one for a multitude of reasons. First of all, I have no black friends, so you have to start somewhere, right? Outside of that, Zack Braff seems like a pretentious douche, but that isn’t too surprising considering all of the artsy romance films he has directed, and that one time he exploded at a pre-teen for “spray painting” his sports car on Punk’d. I think I’ve stated my case clearly enough. Me and D-Faze will be rocking the karaoke bars and retirement home dance clubs in no time at all!
1. Shigeru Miyamoto: What’s so special about some old guy in Japan? I mean sure, it’s not like he created almost every poster boy Nintendo has to offer, including Mario, Link, Star Fox, and Donkey Kong. It’s not like he’s one ofthe most important figures in gaming, especially for Nintendo. It’s not like spending a day or two with Miyamoto would be something like chatting, listening to interesting stories, and maybe even gaming (“Maybe” as in he reportedly doesn’t play too often) with the equivalent of my grandpa, if he were a really nice old Asian man that makes video games. Oh no, you’re right. You go ahead and get cussed out by Christian Bale, I’d much rather spend time with my boy Shigeru. Have fun!
5 other famous people I would love to hang with, but didn’t feel like typing about: Kevin Durant, James Franco, Matt Groening, Nicolas Cage, the guy who invented Pet Rocks.
If you could hang with a famous person, who would you choose?