Classics Review: The Brave (and Terrifying) Little Toaster

23 12 2010

Finals are over, and I can now return to caring even less about school than I did during finals. Thusly, more posting.

The Brave Little Toaster is quite possibly my favorite animated movie of all time. It’s the story of five anthropomorphic appliances who set out in search of their Master, a little boy who used to live in the cabin they inhabit. It’s actually based on a science fiction novel written in 1980.

Irresponsible life decisions.

The five appliances that embark on the journey are Toaster, an androgynous toaster, Blanky, a child-like electric blanket, Lampy, a desk lamp who isn’t very bright (get it?) Radio, an old radio who never shuts up and acts like he is from the 1940’s, and Kirby, an upright vacuum cleaner who hates everything.

The movie was distributed by Disney, but not actually made by them, which, I assume, is the reason that it is allowed to be so incredibly terrifying. This is the cover of the movie:

See how adorable that looks? Clearly this will be a fun-filled adventure strewn with hugging and learning, right? Here’s a few pictures from the scene where Toaster has a nightmare.

Yes, in this clearly marketed for children movie, there is a scene where an evily smiling clown arises from hellish fire and tries to kill the toaster. It’s funny because he has a fork and water, things that would scare toasters, but that’s not important because any children nearby are now scarred for life.

However, evil firefighter clowns have nothing on the scene where the air conditioner becomes angered and appears to have an aneurysm of some sort, and explodes. When I watched this scene as a child, I had to hide behind the couch, and the psychological  scars still freak me out a bit while watching it now.

Again, now that I am not five years old, I get the joke of him sounding like Jack Nicholson, but that didn’t matter back then. HE EXPLODED. I’ve been asking people recently about this movie, and they all remember loving it, but being absolutely terrified at the same time.

On the other side of the not-for-children scale is the most depressing song ever written, “Worthless”.

I mean seriously. Those are cars that are apparently alive, singing about their depression as they are eaten by a giant crusher thing. How this didn’t freak me out, I will never know.

However, if you can get past all that scariness, the rest of the movie is (mostly) adorable and not freaky. Mostly. The songs are of high quality, the animation is great. If you have children, ignore everything I’ve typed above and show it to them. Most children’s movies are terrifying anyway. Happy Holidays!

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