Liveblog: Kansas City Chiefs vs. Baltimore Ravens

9 01 2011

That’s right mofos, The Media Experiment does sports too! Of course, it’s definitely not going to fair, and it’s definitely going to be at least a little biased. I’ve been alive for 18 years, and the one time I watched the Chiefs in the playoffs, they really didn’t deserve to be there. So, of course, that got their asses handed to them by the eventual Super Bowl winning Colts. Since then, well, it hasn’t been pretty.

But it’s a new season, a new day, a new Chiefs team. Sure, this team isn’t a world beater. Kansas City got most of their wins at home and against the easiest schedule in the NFL. Their only win against a playoff team is against the 8-9 Seahawks, and the only other win that most would consider “great” is against the Chargers in week one.

The Ravens are a great team, definitely capable of going as far as the Super Bowl. So here we are. Playoff football. Ravens. Chiefs. It’s the NFL Playoffs on The Media Experiment! Follow me after the jump see updated thoughts on the game, including mixed emotions, lots of cussing, and (likely) childish weeping whether the Chiefs win or lose.

Liveblog after the jump!

Pregame

11:43: Balls, the game doesn’t start for around 20 minutes. Plain and simple, if Matt Cassel plays like he did against the Raiders last week, KC will be down 30 by halftime. The Ravens’ defense will probably bottle up Jones and Charles pretty well, so my X Factor for the game is Casselhoff. God help us all.

11:56: Took my dogs out one last time and saw the B2 Bomber flying to Arrowhead for the flyover. Surreal

12:02: What a buildup. If this is a letdown, I’m only posting pictures of cute puppies and kittens for the rest of the liveblog.

1st Quarter

12:07: And we have kickoff! Go Chiefs!

12:09: Joe “Bert” Flacco is too cool to be rattle by the KC Defense. Gotta play smart every place

12:10: Balls! Ravens are driving. In KC territory, converting on dink and dunk passes. Two Flacco throws were almost intercepted though.

12:13: If I weren’t underage I’d be drinking right now…

12:14: Ravens at the Kansas City 1 yard line. Not a good start by the Chiefs

12:15: Goal Line stand! Chiefs hold the Ravens to a field goal attempt. That’s more like it!

12:17: The kick is up and good. 3-0, Ravens lead. I was about to give up, but the Chiefs turned it on when they had to. Thank God.

12:19: Why the hell did Dexter McCluster have to hurt himself… He hasn’t been the same since missing all those weeks in the middle of the season.

12:22: Crap, Cassel has happy feet. My pessimism is showing

12:23: Unlucky break number 1: Moeaki makes a great catch, but can’t get his feet down in bounds. Chiefs have to punt.

12:25: Dustin Colquitt is God in a punter’s body

12:27: If you want to win, you can’t give up 1st downs on 3rd and long. Motherfucker

12:29: Haley challenges the spot. I’m not so sure about that call

12:30: Why do the Troy Polomalu shampoo commercials seem so dirty?

12:31: Challenge fails. Sadness

12:33: Bad, bad tackling. This is not looking good early

12:35: Motherfucker. Ravens are 3-4 on 3rd down.

12:36: FUMBLE! Kansas City recovers! Tamba Hali you magnificent bastard

12:38: Two plays later, Touchdown Kansas City by Charles! Fuck yeah!

12:40: Jamaal Charles is a home run hitter, but the downside is that the KC defense is going right back out there. Must not let the Ravens get another long drive going.

12:43: Not so fast, happy people. Houshmanzadeh with the big gainer. The defense must be tired

2nd Quarter

12:47: Ravens have 27 plays, KC has 5. And KC has the lead. Bizarre

12:49: Jamaal is playing like his luscious hair is on fire. Cassel, Bowe, Jones and Co have to keep up with him or he’ll be gassed and ineffective by the 4th Quarter

12:52: Charles fumbles. Baltimore has it. It’s the one downside to Charles’ game, and it bites KC while they’re driving. Crap.

12:57: Bottles up the run, sacks Flacco. 3 and out for Baltimore. Much needed stop

FEAR THIS MAN

1:00: 22 yard pass to Moeaki. Then another first down by Charles. Chiefs have a fire in them right now.

1:03: I’m going to get lunch and watch the game with other people. Enjoy life without my presence. Go Chiefs.

2:15: I’m sad now. The Ravens defense is just too dominant

2:18: Touchdown Ravens. The end is nigh.

2:20: Chiefs fumble, Ravens recover. :(

2:21: This is why we can’t have nice things, but Haley is challenging.

2:23: Overturned. Woo

4th Quarter

Is this a sign that the Ravens defense is ridiculous, or a sign that the Chiefs really aren’t a worthy team? Or both? Probably both.

2:27: I could just give up and root for the Patriots for the rest of my life. But I’m a glutton for punishment.

2:29: First penalty on the Ravens. They’ve dominated KC in every way imaginable. I’m gonna be sick.

2:32: Sadness is sadness

2:35: 4th down. 9:12 left. Not much hope. If the Chiefs don’t score here, it’s game over.

2:36: Offsides. Game iced.

2:39: Everyone is getting into fights. This is another sad day to be a KC fan.

2:44: TD Ravens, game officially over. Not much more needed to say. I’m going to wallow in pudding and tears now.

2:48: What a sad way to end the first truly good season for the Chiefs since 2003. Matt Cassel was absolutely horrid to end the year, Dwayne Bowe got shut down, and Baltimore killed KC down the stretch by playing keep away. In my opinion, KC needs to improve the offensive line and wide receivers. And they need to sacrifice a goat or something to get back in the graces of the sports gods. I don’t know. I’m still wallowing in pudding. Anyways, the future looks brighter for KC than it did two years ago, but we still choke in the playoffs, and we still have a lot of improving to do and crap. Sadness.

Great googly moogly

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