Liveblog: Packers vs. Falcons

15 01 2011

Hastily put together liveblog time! The over/under for FALCON PUNCH jokes is 11.5. It’s the NFL Playoffs on The Media Experiment!

1st Half

7:17: Matty Ice and the Falcons start with the ball. I hate that nickname and Ryan’s hair is a crappy hack on Brady’s. And the game starts off with a horrible, horrible throw from Ryan.

7:19: After a short run by Turner, Ryan hits a wide open Roddy White for a first down.

7:20: Turner is the X-Factor in this game. If the Pack stops him and forces Ryan to throw again and again, the Falcons will lose this game.

7:21: Another 12 yard strike to White for a first down.

7:23: Another 3rd and long for Atlanta. Turner hasn’t been running well. Ryan throws short to Snelling, but it’s 4th down for the Falcons.

7:26: Am I smelling defensive struggle or pass happy showdown? Starks was good last week, but I don’t think his success continues.

7:28: OH MY! A huge pass from Rodgers turns into a chop-fumble recovered by the Falcons. Atlanta is now in position to score the night’s first points. FALCON PUNCH (literally)!

7:31: Ryan to Jenkins for another ATL first down. Woodson wants Offensive PI

7:33: Clay Matthews bear hugs Ryan for a sack. Word has it he only speaks in guttural screams. This followed by a pass to White, almost a first down.

7:35: 4th and inches, Falcons going for it, and…… this will depend on the spot… first down for the Falcons. Drive is alive

7:36: Michael Turner claws his way into the endzone. Falcons 7, Packers 0. BOOM!!!


7:40: Holy shit, that Mentos commercial with the spider was great.

7:43: Starks picks up the short first down. Try and not turn it over this time, Green Bay

7:44: Brandon Jackson gets a 14 yard run. Already better than his entire game last week. The Packers are pounding it inside with decent success early.

7:45: 1. Kuhn has got to be racist. Careful yelling that in Atlanta. 2. Joe Buck is a moron

7:48: Another long throw from Rodgers to Jennings. Can’t wait for Rodgers to do his cheesy champion belt thrust.

7:52: Jordy (Jordie? Whatever) Nelson catches for first and goal Green Bay

7:53: Nelson goes in for the touchdown. 7-7 all.

7:57: AND JUST LIKE THAT, Eric Weems takes the kick all the way back for the TD. 14-7 Atlanta

8:00: Weems broke ankles like a point guard on that play. Jesus.

8:01: On a lighter note. I’m pissed Pittsburgh won, but if the Ravens were going to lose, I preferred that it be painful. Revenge is sweet, even semi-revenge.

8:02: Outside of that fumble, Jennings is beasting it so far

8:04: James Jones just tight-roped a big gainer from Rodgers. Pretty play.

8:05: Rodgers is sacked on 3rd and 3. Wear that belt, Rodgers.

8:07: Oh snap, illegal contact on Atlanta. Joe Buck is pretty blind

8:08: Obvious pass interference on the Falcons. We’ll have none of that shit

8:09: KUHN SCORES! 14-14 Pack Attack! Someone is going to get beat up for yelling Kuhn tonight, I guarantee it.

8:14: Two very exciting games tonight. Which means there will probably be two huge blow-outs tomorrow. Regression to the mean.

8:16: First down for Atlanta. Both offenses are moving with relative ease.

8:18: Don’t go away from Turner, Falcons! He’s had some productive runs so far. Another quick throw to Jenkins for a first down. It’ll be hard to liveblog this no-huddle

8:20: Old Man Woodson sacks Ryan! BOOM

8:21: Williams has his second end zone INT of the postseason. Horrid throw by Ryan. FALCON PUNCH’D

8:27: Penalties have been hurting Atlanta. Not usual for the home team.

8:29: Rodgers to Jennings all day long. Rodgers still only has two incompletions. This guy is pretty damn good.

8:31: Uh oh, Buck slowly moving his mouth  towards Rodgers’ dick. Rodgers converts to Donald Driver for yet another first down. Now in sure fire field goal range.

8:33: Rodgers throws, and James Jones makes an incredible catch for a touchdown. Amazing! 21-14 Packers.

8:37: Pass interference on Green Bay. Falcons can still get some points before half-time

8:39: Another PI. But Matthews sacks the crap out of Ryan! That pocket collapsed in mere seconds!

8:41: WILLIAMS PICKS IT OFF AND TAKES IT TO THE HOUSE! He is having a stellar post-season! Matt Ryan continues to suck ass in the playoffs. 28-14 Packers.

2nd Half

8:58: John Abraham, possibly the most patriotic footballer ever, sacks Rodgers and does his belt pose. Epic

8:59: James Jones picks up the first down. Rodgers is slippery.

9:01: Green Bay’s offense is un-effing-stoppable right now. Matt Ryan has ruined Atlanta’s chance at this game.

9:03: Atlanta keeps bringing pressure, but Rodgers keeps burning them. Falcons are stubborn on defense.

9:05: Case in point. Another long first down throw from Rodgers to Nelson.

9:08: Horrid, horrid defense on Atlanta’s part. They are getting picked apart and worn down.

TOUCHDOWN, rushing for Rodgers. The end is nigh for the Falcons

9:14: Atlanta can score three TD’s in this amount of time, but I don’t think Atlanta can stop the Packer offense. This is basically game over.

9:16: There will be gifs of the funny faces on the GB sideline before this is all said and done.

9:19: Green Bay wins a challenge. Sad faces for Atlanta

:(

:(

:(

Fuck

-The City of Atlanta

9:23: Folks, it may be the third quarter, but this game is OVAH. I’ll come back if a miraculous comeback occurs… don’t count on it.

42-14 Packers will win. Everyone should now pull for Seattle. If the Seahawks win, the NFC Championship will be back at Seattle. You know you want it. You know you want it.

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