Honestly, I’m not even sure if this commercial was part of yesterday’s Super Bowl commercials. I missed the first quarter or so of the game on television, and all I know is that this was a finalist for Doritos’ annual SB commercial competition. It sounds like the winner was the creepy finger sucking commercial, so I’m giving an extra shout-out to the birthday commercial, which is equal parts silly and inappropriate. Let’s break it down:
- Boring old dad looks eerily similar to Maps and Atlases singer Dave Davison. He also is goofy and acts like a silly little kid.
- He suddenly pulls a dick move on his “son” (that kid looks nothing like the parents) and blows out the candles for a box of Doritos.
- There is suddenly a hip hop robot. Slightly overweight dad and robot dance badly.
- STRIPPER POLE
- The end
I was pretty much on the floor trying to re-learn how to breathe after losing said ability from laughing so hard. A close second/ third place goes to these videos.
Because pugs are freaking awesome, and because the modern day guy in the Carmax commercial does a good job of being seriously confused and terrified.
Now, after the jump I have what may be the most ridiculous reading list of my entire life. Click the jump and watch in horror; it’s BOOKMARE 2011!
To quote Bud Light and their horrible commercials: Here we go.
The Kindle Books
1. Dead Space: Martyr: Currently, this is the book that I’m taking care of (along with Blood Meridian). Per Kindle’s standards, I’m currently 64% through the book, which is an average sized paperback. I know one would naturally think that a book based on a horror video game would be horrible, but to perfectly honest, I’ve liked it up to this point. This book focuses more on the origins of necromorphs, as well as the mysterious character Michael Altman. A surprisingly good psychological thriller so far.
2. The Collected Works of Jules Verne: This collection of books and short stories by the master of sci-fi cost me a whopping four dollars. I don’t know whether or not these are possibly watered-down versions of the classic novels, but I imagine this will remain an interesting read nonetheless.
3. Starship Troopers: Robert Heinlein is said to be one of the classic authors in the world of science fiction, so naturally the first work of his that I’ve picked up is his most well-regarded novel Starship Troopers. While generally praised, I’m unsure if my love of gung-ho action will tolerate the more political path that the story takes. If it isn’t for my liking, there’s always the ultra-violent and slightly cheesy movie to enjoy.
4. American Gods: Being a huge fan of Anansi Boys and Neverwhere, it’s surprising that I haven’t finished what is considered Neil Gaiman’s best book. But what’s done is done, and I’m sitting here about halfway through the novel, which I have enjoyed immensely. I will admit that I enjoy the lighter tones of the previously mentioned novels by Gaiman, but this is still something that I plan to finish in the near future.
5. The Year of Living Biblically: I’ve heard plenty of good things about A.J. Jacobs and his hilarious brand of experimental journalism, so I’m looking forward to reading about his journey into the world of living the Bible down to the letters.
6. Olympos: I’ve noted of my general appreciation towards Dan Simmons a few times, and his sci-fi/ Homerian spin in Ilium was incredibly fascinating; it’s really not too often that I get through an 800-plus page book in less than one month. Anyways, Olympos is the sequel to Ilium, and while the reviews on Amazon are less favorable, I’m still willing to give ol’ Dan a chance. Besides, I still need to figure out how the damn story ends.
7. The Autobiography of Mark Twain: I’ll level with you here: I’m less than 10% through this epic autobiography, but I swear I’ve read through the Kindle equivalent of 60 pages. The pre-biography introduction is actually 200-plus pages long. In a 1000-plus book no less. I’m not understating it when I say this is going to take a while to get through.
8. The Ultimate History of Video Games: Just a free-time/ time wasting book for cases of extreme boredom on long car rides, ect. It’s surprising how many comparisons can be made to early video game business and the mafia…
That Stack of Real Books
1. Blood Meridian: Cormac McCarthy may annoy me to know end with his lack of punctuation sometimes, but luckily his superb writing skills are enough to make me look past how confusing the comma/ apostrophe/ et cetera-free story is. I’m currently about 1/3 through this one, and to be quite honest, I think it would make a great movie. Which is good, because James Franco apparently wants to make this into a movie.
2. Footfall: This book is yet another sci-fi apocalypse novel. The author, Larry Niven, is attached to quite a few sci-fi books, his most popular being Lucifer’s Hammer. In lieu of the latter, which I could not find at Half Price Books, I’m settling for this little story about the classic alien invasion. Judging the book by its cover, I’d say it’s probably going to be a combination of gore, 50’s nostalgia, and classic science fiction cheese; these aren’t necessarily bad things.
3. The Terror: Another novel by Dan Simmons, this one deviating from science fiction towards a kind of unheard of genre: Historical Horror Fiction. The focus is on the real-life disappearance of the Franklin Expedition of 1845, only there some slightly monstrous additions to make the story even more horrifying.
4. Cryptonomicon: Of all the book genres out there that I have always meant to get into, the ones that really stand out are hard boiled detective thrillers and treasure hunter mysteries. I guess this book, considered on of Neal Stephenson’s best, would be a good way to get into the sort. You know it’s going to be entertaining World War II and treasure are two of the main points.
5. No Country For Old Men: Yet another McCarthy novel, this being the one that was transformed into an epic, Oscar-winning movie by the Coen Brothers. I’m guessing that the novel is just as good, and I’ll still be absolutely terrified of Anton Chigurh.
6. Last Night In Twisted River: My mother has always told me to read books by John Irving, and here’s to you, Mom. You’ll be the first one to hear it if I can’t finish this book due to sheer boredom, and you’ll be the first one to know if I eat crow for my lack of faith in your words should this turn out to be one of my favorites ever.
So that’s my slate of books at the moment. Now if you excuse me, I’m going to crawl into a hole and read for a few months.