5 Great Narrators in Movies and Television

10 01 2011

Not pictured: The narrator. Why? Because he's the f*cking narrator, that's why.

Of all the types of characters in the world of entertainment, the narrator is usually the most boring. Unless the topic at hand is being presented in documentary form, the narrator usually shows up in the beginning of the story, maybe shows up a time or two in the middle, and then wraps everything up at the end. All of this is usually done a droll, normal tone. In short, the narrator gives you the background info in a no-nonsense matter and then gets out of the way so you can enjoy the real action.

But that doesn’t mean the narrator can’t be an interesting, and sometimes even exciting part of a TV show or movie. Click the jump to see some examples of narrators that do a little bit more than what is required.

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5 Famous People I Would Love to Hang Out With

10 12 2010

[Happy 100th post!]

I’m not sure if I could handle being famous, or at least famous enough to be put on TMZ if I got caught eating a whole pizza and a can of spray cheese on a subway. Just thinking about having to deal with the constant interviews, singing of autographs, and dealing with the inevitable craziness that affects most A-List celebrities makes me feel queasy. It’s obvious that the majority of super celebrities in the world are batshit insane, but there are quite a few people in movies, TV, sports, et cetera, that are (Or seem to be) genuinely interesting, but also, you know, not quite as batshit insane.

Sure, some of these seemingly normal famous people could just be really good at hiding their inner-crazy, and they might even be hiding some creepy-ass fetishes (Perhaps a cellar full of Beanie Babies?) from the paparazzi, but I’m willing to take a chance on some of these people. So yes, there’s a possibility that some of these people might secretly be douchebags like Christian Bale that would cuss me out for bringing them a glazed donut instead of a danish, but I’m just shameless to admit that I’d try to spend a day with them anyway. Click the jump to see five people that I would love to hang out with.

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TME Collaboration: Our Top 5 Favorite Books

10 11 2010

Around the age of eight, I was pretty much living in hell. That was a point in time when TV, movies, fireworks, and other kids all scared the crap out of me. I wouldn’t develop my love of spoofs and tolerance of horror films for eight years. I wouldn’t have a video game system for three years. Midget wrestling wouldn’t be on TV for ten years. During that time spent as a child, books were the best way for me to escape from the horrors of being a sheltered white boy. Hence, this post.

Now, to be perfectly honest, it’d be pretty easy for me to make a post with my five favorite books, put a mini-essay on why each one is more important that your children with that list, and then post it under my name and my name only. But what if Jackie wanted to tell the world about her favorite books? Or Trevor, or Emily? Jimmy doesn’t know how to read, so I’ll leave him out of that. I think you see where I’m getting at. Instead of four different posts all about the same thing, all of the authors are coming together and putting their opinions onto one big post. Follow us after the jump to see everyone’s top five favorite books!

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My Top 10 Favorite Pieces of Zombie Media

22 10 2010

From vampires to werewolves, hellish demons to Frank N. Furters Frankensteins, Halloween is chocked full of memorable creatures that always make a few appearances every year in entertainment, be it through books, TV, video games, or movies. Nowadays, though, a lot of Halloween time monsters that used to scare the Holy Water out of me have turned into things that wouldn’t even scare my mother, and that’s saying a lot.

Vampires now sparkle, wear fancy scarves and preach the joys of queefing abstinence. Werewolves have been either delegated to remakes of classics, or to the previously stated Twi-Hard movies as muscular Native American teens. Frankenstein has been MIA for years now (Van Helsing doesn’t count) and that essentially has left one ghoul to take over as top terror. The Zombie.

Personally, I’m just fine with that. While I would love to see some real vampires take the spotlight away from Twilight, and would equally love to see a new serial killer take control away from Jigsaw, at least I’ve had good ol’ zombies to entertain me for the last decade or so. Read after the jump to see my top ten pieces of zombie media after the jump!

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5 Hollywood Trends That Are Driving Me Insane

18 10 2010

For most people, movies are a general escape from the stresses and humdrums of everyday life. When I go to a movie, I expect to forget about a stressful day at school, work, ect. and get some thrills, laughs (Be they unintentional or not) and sometimes even learn things with a group of friends. Unfortunately, not many films are worth the ridiculous price of tickets and food, and nowadays more than ever, most filmmakers are relying on lazy, recycled ideas to make a quick buck. It’s pretty much always been happening, it will definitely continue to happen for the rest of our lives, so I might as well just quit bitching and see movies that have a better chance of not sucking. That said, it doesn’t mean I’m not going to rant about the things I hate most about the movies of today. So, without further word vomit, my five most hated Hollywood trends after the jump.

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