5 Horror Films That Ruined My Childhood

31 10 2010

[The end of my Scott Sigler post said I’d be recommending songs that scare the crap out of people, but I lied. You should listen to the songs on Emily’s mixtape instead.]

It’s pretty well known that children scare much easier than adults, but sometimes a child is so sheltered from things like horror movies, death, ect. that when they see things of that sort, it sends them into a state of catatonic shock. From age 4 to age 13 (13!), that kid was me. I got a pretty good grip on cuss words from an early age; Everything else, not so much. So to celebrate a holiday that doesn’t scare me nearly as much as it did 8 years ago, here are five examples of movies that ruined my childhood, whether they’re actually scary or not.

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Suppes’ Halloween Goodies: The Podcasts and Published Works of Scott Sigler

25 10 2010

 

Nice guy

If you’re a fan of horror novels, then surely you have heard of names like H.P. Lovecraft, Stephen King, Richard Matheson, and Dean Koontz. Chances are good that you’ve read at least one book by any of the previously mentioned writers as well. While all of those guys are simply amazing in every aspect of their horror stories, I’ve recently been in love with one author and one author only: Scott Sigler, the future of Sci-Fi Thrillers as we know it.

The dude started out by giving his science fiction and horror stories away in the form of podcast episodes. Thanks to the popularity and success of his podcast books, Sigler grew a huge following of fans (Nicknamed “junkies”) and eventually landed a deal with Random House Publishing. He has since released three books, and they all deserve to be sitting on your bookshelf as we speak. Read about them after the jump!

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Halloween Suggestions: Day 3

22 10 2010

It’s Day 3 of my Halloween extravaganza! Today we discuss video games. I know I’ve been trying to not showcase well-known things, but screw it, there aren’t that many scary video games. Here we go!

Resident Evil 4

I love this game so, so much. So they changed the camera angles. So they changed the controls scheme. So they added the merchant to buy weapons.

RE4 Merchant

STRAYNJAH

Who cares about all that stuff? It doesn’t matter, because the game is AMAZING. There’s a reason it won every award they make for gaming. Anyway, the scariness. This game scared me when I was like 12, and thus, it still scares me now. Being chased by a man with a burlap sack on his head waving a chainsaw is not something that just becomes normal. It’s got a well-plotted story with far better voice acting than this series deserves, and if you somehow have not played it, you need to.

Chainsaw Squared

YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME

[More games after the jump!]

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My Top 10 Favorite Pieces of Zombie Media

22 10 2010

From vampires to werewolves, hellish demons to¬†Frank N. Furters Frankensteins, Halloween is chocked full of memorable creatures that always make a few¬†appearances every year in entertainment, be it through books, TV, video games, or movies. Nowadays, though, a lot of Halloween time monsters that used to scare the Holy Water out of me have turned into things that wouldn’t even scare my mother, and that’s saying a lot.

Vampires now sparkle, wear fancy scarves and preach the joys of queefing abstinence. Werewolves have been either delegated to remakes of classics, or to the previously stated Twi-Hard movies as muscular Native American teens. Frankenstein has been MIA for years now (Van Helsing doesn’t count) and that essentially has left one ghoul to take over as top terror. The Zombie.

Personally, I’m just fine with that. While I would love to see some real vampires take the spotlight away from Twilight, and would equally love to see a new serial killer take control away from Jigsaw, at least I’ve had good ol’ zombies to entertain me for the last decade or so. Read after the jump to see my top ten pieces of zombie media after the jump!

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Halloween Suggestions: Day 2

22 10 2010

I’ve been slacking on my suggestions of things to make you evacuate your bowels in fear. Forgive me? Thanks, babe.

Today: Books

Books are scary, and not just because we’re Americans. When you watch a movie, the director and actors are saying “this is what is scary right here. Look at it.” When you read a book, you’re creating the scene in your mind, and it’s almost always creepier, because who knows what scares you better than you?

Pyramid Head

THAT'S WHO

Anyway, here’s two books that will make your thoughts their bitch.

(Note: The things I choose for my Suggestions are not necessarily the “scariest” books or movies or whatnot that I have ever seen. They are scary things that I am hoping you have not heard of before.)

From A Buick 8 – Stephen King

In my freshman year of high school I got a learning lab. I didn’t want a learning lab. I had to sit there and do homework, or read. It was freshman year, so I almost never had homework. So I read about 20 books, including every Stephen King book our library had to offer. Firestarter, Christine, The Dead Zone, ‘Salem’s Lot. They had quite a few. And I’d heard of all of them previously. But I had heard nothing about From A Buick 8, and was interested to read it.

One day, a man leaves a Buick 8 at a gas station in a rural town. The police station impounds it in a garage, and soon realizes that whatever this thing is, it only resembles a Buick 8. Strange lights flash around it, and sometimes things disappear from the vicinity of the car. Even worse, sometimes things appear. Things that should not…be.

That’s all I’m telling you about From A Buick 8. Read it. One thing I love about Stephen King is that he tells you enough in his descriptions to give you a general picture in your mind of what is happening. I remember being frightened by the mental picture I built of something from this book. If there’s a better compliment to give to someone, I sure as hell can’t think of it.

Relic – Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child

I read this book back in the time when my parents just brought home books from the library and I read them, without them like pre-approving them or anything. I was reading Stephen King books at the age of like, 12. Which can’t have been healthy for my brain. This book probably wasn’t either.

Now, my remembrance of this book is vague. The plot at least is. My being scared remains fresh in my mind. The general deal is that really, really weird murders are going in a museum, and people are trying to figure out what the hell is going on. This book is way better than I am making it sound, I swear. It’s creepy as all get out and you need to read it. Would I lie to you? I wouldn’t. Truth.

So there’s your two books to look at! I promise they are worth your time. If they’re not, comment. If they are, comment also. Just comment please.





Suppes’ Halloween Goodies: Dead Space

21 10 2010

[Alec brought up the fact that it’s the 13 days of Halloween yesterday, and Trevor proceeded to unofficially kick off what should be a week of posts with a Halloween theme to it. For my first contribution to the festivities, I bring you a game that should give you a nice dose of the heeby-jeebies. Read more after the jump.]

JESUS BALLS

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Halloween Suggestions: Day 1

20 10 2010

Halloween. A Nightmare on Elm Street. Friday the 13th. What do they have in common? Yes, they’re wonderful movies, and should be seen by everyone many times. But the problem is that everyone has seen them. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who hasn’t seen at least one of those three classics. So what so you do when you’re choosing movies for your Halloween party? I’m about to tell you.

Session 9

If anyone has heard of Session 9, it’s probably because of this.

Surprisingly, this wonderful scene is in no way indicative of the rest of the movie’s quality. And that quality is it being incredibly freaking terrifying. I don’t get scared by many things. The list of things that have made me legitimately afraid to leave my room at night, I can count on one hand. This is one of them. The movie avoids relying on blood, and instead shoves in as much slow-building psychological terror as physically possible. The movie focuses on a cleaning crew removing asbestos from an abandoned mental hospital, and telling you any more about the plot would take away from the experience. It may not be your average Halloween movie, but it’s definitely worth checking out.

Tomorrow: 2 books to keep you awake, wondering what that noise was.