2011 Oscars Liveblog: Toy Story 3 vs. the World

Franco only loves his anime pillow pal

So apparently tonight is the Oscars, and for whatever reason I see fit, I guess I will liveblog the damn thing. After watching two best picture nominees yesterday (Winter’s Bone and The King’s Speech), all I’ve able to think about is the Christopher Guest movie For Your Consideration (great movie, by the way). Why? Because so many Oscar films just have this air of snottiness and self-importance that just makes me sick sometimes. It just feels like people will only make movies to try to rake in awards based on merits such as “dysfunction, crying, over-the-top emotions” and so on. Maybe I just hate seeing other people succeed, but then again, Transformers 2 is one of the highest grossing movies of all time, so I guess it’s not just the awards show films. The point is, I see movies as something to entertain first, and then inspire second, and not the other way around. I’d be totally fine if a movie about Gandhi fudged things and made him a bodybuilder with a Gatling gun.

Anyways, here are the Best Picture films I have seen: Toy Story 3, Winter’s Bone, Inception, The King’s Speech, and True Grit. Here’s how I’d rank them and why…

5. Winter’s Bone: The intrigue of the story kept me interested for the majority of the movie, but damn, the ending was about as uneventful and unexciting as one could possibly expect. Weeee, they all do meth! Weeee, they’re ignorant hicks with anger issues! Weeeee, the lead lady is stuck in a horrible life at the beginning of the film and the end of it too! Jennifer Lawrence did a fine acting job, but if this wins Best Picture, I’m not going to be pleased.

4. Inception: Everyone wants to talk about “how overrated” Inception is, simply because of all the hype that came with Chris Nolan and the fact that it was a high-grossing summer movie. That said, it still had an interesting story and some really cool visuals that made me enjoy it overall. Let’s be honest here: not many people outside of Nolan could make something like dream inception seem plausible. This shouldn’t win BP, but that doesn’t mean it was a bad movie. Also, let’s not forget a certain blue alien film that was nominated for Best Picture last year…..

3. Toy Story 3: It is near impossible to not like this movie, but it’s in the minority simply because it’s a kid’s film. I would totally get behind this winning Best Picture though.

2. The King’s Speech: The two lead actors stole the show on this one, and made this movie go from 2 stars to 3.5 stars for me. Geoffry Rush was simply fantastic as the speech therapist; if he doesn’t win Best Supporting Actor, I will never look at this already “whatever” award again.

1. True Grit: That’s right, I’m a Coen Bros. homer, so sue me. Even with this movie, a movie that breaks a lot of artsy guy code (it’s a remake of an adaptation of a book, for one thing), but True Grit was the best Oscar movie I saw all year (my favorite movie overall of last year is still Kick Ass). The presentation, the acting (everybody was great in their respective roles), the feel; it felt like I was living in a snarky, slightly humorous Western world. This movie won’t win Best Picture, but it deserves to get at least Best Actor, and I’d root for Best Actress too.

And yes, I know my opinions are skewed since I didn’t see the likes of the other five movies, although you won’t get me to ever see The Kids Are Alright.

Anyways, catch up with me after the jump when the awards show starts. There’ll plenty of making fun of snooty celebrities after the jump, when the Oscars actually start. See you then!

Media Man Crush: Alan Tudyk

We here at The Media Experiment are not afraid to shout to the world our strange attractions to people of the same sex (Ok, maybe that’s just me, but still (I’m not gay (ladies))) and with Valentine’s Day tomorrow, it’s high time to have our second installment of Media Man Crush! This month’s installment focuses on an actor that has been in almost every type of movie imaginable. From sci-fi’s to westerns, comedies to dramas, Mr. Tudyk is one of those guys that isn’t necessarily a household name (unless you’re a Firefly/ Serenity super fan), but is instantly recognizable. Add to that his stunning good looks and general awesomeness, and you’ve got a guy that you can be attracted to without being gay. In fact, if you actually are not attracted to Alan Tudyk, you might be considered gay by 95% of the male population. Fact.

Double Whammy: My Favorite Super Bowl Commercials and Bookmare 2011

Honestly, I’m not even sure if this commercial was part of yesterday’s Super Bowl commercials. I missed the first quarter or so of the game on television, and all I know is that this was a finalist for Doritos’ annual SB commercial competition. It sounds like the winner was the creepy finger sucking commercial, so I’m giving an extra shout-out to the birthday commercial, which is equal parts silly and inappropriate. Let’s break it down:

• Boring old dad looks eerily similar to Maps and Atlases singer Dave Davison. He also is goofy and acts like a silly little kid.
• He suddenly pulls a dick move on his “son” (that kid looks nothing like the parents) and blows out the candles for a box of Doritos.
• There is suddenly a hip hop robot. Slightly overweight dad and robot dance badly.
• STRIPPER POLE
• The end

I was pretty much on the floor trying to re-learn how to breathe after losing said ability from laughing so hard. A close second/ third place goes to these videos.

Because pugs are freaking awesome, and because the modern day guy in the Carmax commercial does a good job of being seriously confused and terrified.

Now, after the jump I have what may be the most ridiculous reading list of my entire life. Click the jump and watch in horror; it’s BOOKMARE 2011!

Web Wednesday: The Wonderful World of Van Der Beek

Hey, douches! Somebody actually recommended funny internet stuff to me. Finally, I don’t have to scour the internet for slightly above average Tumblrs. Thanks to our (likely) only regular reader that isn’t somehow related to me, Craig for the suggestions!

Website of the Week: James Van Der Memes

Honestly, I don’t give too big of a shit about James Van Der Beek’s career. All I know is that he starred on some show, was memorable for crying like a bitch, and then he randomly played the quarterback in Varsity Blues. If I was this age in the 90’s, I’d probably show my hatred for Van Der Beek on whatever the 90’s version of a blog is…. an 8 Track? Wait, wait, a slam poetry club. Damn I’m so witty! Can I get a high five? Anyone?

Thanks, James Van Der Beek!

But now all of that theoretical hate is all behind me, because now Van Der Beek seems to have embraced the idea that people love people that will make fun of themselves, and nothing says “I’m a good sport!” like contributing gifs that lampoon his Van Der Beek-ness.

What’s more is that Funny or Die got in on the act recently. The result? Well, I certainly don’t hate James Van Der Beek anymore… well, I really never did hate him… whatever. Videos after el jumpo.

5 Great Narrators in Movies and Television

Not pictured: The narrator. Why? Because he's the f*cking narrator, that's why.

Of all the types of characters in the world of entertainment, the narrator is usually the most boring. Unless the topic at hand is being presented in documentary form, the narrator usually shows up in the beginning of the story, maybe shows up a time or two in the middle, and then wraps everything up at the end. All of this is usually done a droll, normal tone. In short, the narrator gives you the background info in a no-nonsense matter and then gets out of the way so you can enjoy the real action.

But that doesn’t mean the narrator can’t be an interesting, and sometimes even exciting part of a TV show or movie. Click the jump to see some examples of narrators that do a little bit more than what is required.

The Best of 2010!

Remember this? No? Read this.

Remember 2010? You might not after your drunken debauchery which ushered in the new year. I’m here to help you rejog your memory, with the best of 2010 list!

The Year That Was: 2010 Reflection, Part 2

[You can read Emily’s 2010 post if you click this]

Ahhh the New Year; a day that really has no meaning, but people love to get irresponsibly drunk the day before. That definitely makes sense.

I have no qualms with the year as a whole. There were plenty of fine movies to watch, games to play, shows to watch, and illegally downloaded CD’s to listen to. Whatever, there is no reason to drag on this intro other than for me to tell you that it’s my opinion, screw you. Anyways, I have plenty of opinions to give on the previous 365 days or so, so click el jumpo to see all of my favorites in entertainment from 2010. Onward!

Last Minute Gifts for the Entire Family

 

Perfect for any relative that lives in Mexico

*With best wrestling announcer’s voice* WAY TO GO, F*CKFACE! YOU FORGOT TO GET GIFTS FOR YOUR FAMILY, AGAIN! WHILE YOU DISGUST ME MORE THAN RANDY SAVAGE’S TIGHTS, THERE’S STILL A CHANCE FOR REDEMPTION. SO DRAG YOUR PATHETIC ASS AROUND TOWN, AND GET THESE GIFTS FOR THE PEOPLE YOU DON’T REALLY LOVE, BUT ARE FORCED TO PRETEND TO LOVE!

There, now that I’ve turned off any potential readers with my caps lock whoring, click the jump to find some last minute gifts that have a good chance of making your family members respect you a little bit more. Because nobody wants to be that douche who just gives you stale bread and orange peels… or is that just my family? Those crazy Catholics.

Web Wednesday: Zero Punctuation, Guidos, Car Ballet

Awesome Sites:

• Totally Cool Pix: Totally Cool Pix is stuffed to the gills with some very stunning photo galleries. Honestly, if you’re a fan of cameras and photography (I’m looking at you, Dad), then you could spend hours looking through all the stuff from this site.
• Zero Punctuation: Technically not a site, Zero Punctuation is a cartoon video series for Escapist, and it’s fucking fantastic. Yahtzee Croshaw is the quintessential pissed-off hipster gamer, and the combination of his fast-talking meanness and hilarious cartoons makes this review series a must watch for any gamer.
• Shirt.Woot.Com: I’m pretty sure I found this site from a referral on Unreality, and thank God I did. Shirt.Woot is a sort of online community where people submit quirky designs for shirts in themed contests. The winners get a day in the spotlight, and the best shirts go into the reckoning list. The one big quirk? Once your shirt is kicked off the list, you can’t buy it anymore.

[GIFs and Video of the Week after the jump]

TME Collaboration: Our Christmas Wishlists

 

No, not that

Whenever the holiday season rolls around, there are three things every person dreads to hear, those being (1) that an elderly family member broke their coccyx walking on a slippery driveway (2) the song Christmas Shoes, and (3) the words, “So, what do you want for Christmas, buddy?” when you have no clue what you really want. Ok, so maybe that last one is just me, but there’s nothing more awful than being asked what you want for Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, et cetera and giving that person a bunch of mumbles in return. Not only are you telling your family members that the speech therapy didn’t work, but it also increases your chances of getting a Rachael Ray cookbook from your grandma instead of a video game.

Since approximately 60% of our site viewership comes from site staff family members (The runner-up for our tagline is “The Media Experiment: Where our parents believe in us”), mostly mine, we might as well give them not-so-subtle hints as to what expensive stuff we want under our trees. Heck, there may even be some stuff you haven’t thought to ask for yet, so click the jump and see what we all want for the holidays this year!